People who deserve my respect

There are many respectable people out there, though not all of them are respectable in the same way as Ghandi or John Lennon. In my book there’s r-e-s-p-e-c-t as Aretha would sing it, and then there’s RESPECT. All caps like that.

Take – for example – this gentleman Steve. His crazy food adventures have kept me in stitches for years, and while he seems to be slowing down a bit, he nevertheless continues to impress me. I respect his humor, his bravery, and his lack of personal safety when it comes to entertaining the masses.

And who can forget the godfather of imbecilic adventures, none other than my boy Tucker Max. He has the same disregard for personal safety that makes Steve so entertaining, but Tucker takes it to the next level with his complete disregard for social responsibility, etiquette, or any other human being besides himself. You gotta respect that.

But then along comes two relative newcomers to the scene: Dan and the Improv Everywhere crew.

Dan is great becasue he doesn’t really have any of the traits that make Steve and Tucker so funny. In fact, he seems relatively mild mannered. What Dan has, however, is vision. How else can you explain his completely crazy – yet completely awesome – bet that he made with his girlfriend?

And for that vision, Dan, I salute you. You may not be as gut wrenching as Steve or as gut busting as Tucker, but your simple, streamlined, elegant plan for a threesome has earned you massive respect in my book.

And seeing as how you have surpassed your goal by a couple million, I say you are about to get your just – and well-deserved – rewards.

As for the Improv Everywhere group, all I can say is that your Best buy prank is by far the best prank I have ever seen and puts all of the great games we used to play in high school – like “It’s him!” and “Can I have that book” – to shame.